Roll to Dodge!

[Tyonis Reybrant]

I throw my sword at Aela.

[Gilgamesh]

Alex: 3 and 5 (Damning your luck and shooting it)

You damn your luck, and you can feel it change a little, maybe as if it were embarrassed or something.

Then you fill it full of holes like a champ. Yes, you shot a metaphysical concept. Congratulations.

Lurker: 2 and 6
Sadly, GB magic is Merlz magic only, so you fail. Realizing this, you attempt to GTFO, which you do so well - so well, in fact that you escape into a harem of ugly chicks down the road.

Nina's apparently one of them.

Nina: 5
Nina chokes Lurker like a bitch, killing him. She then gets signed on for an action movie for her great choking skills: Choking Bitches - the Revenge.

Tyonis: 6

How the fuck does this even...

Your sword toss is a critical success, instantly killing Aela.

However, further investigation has proved your efforts to break the laws of physics, so the Clock Tower has dispatched several Enforcers after you, just as the Church sent twice as many Executors.

[Aela Atheling]

I try to revive using... secret ancient family water magic that can be used past death, and then if successful try to turn Tyonis' blood into ice. For pain (and most likely death~)

[Tyonis Reybrant]

I fight all the forces pit against me in an epic battle. The art of my sword throwing honed to the point where I can boomerang it.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I die.

[Alex McCeol]

I shoot Tyonis in the leg with my shotgun.

[Gilgamesh]

Trollmagic all up in this thing.

Aela: 4 and 2
Your secret family magics that can reverse death through secret ice magics... succeeds! You are now alive!

Tyonis' magic resistance cycles your feeble attempts to freeze his blood, though.

Tyonis: 2
Where is your god now? That's right, he's gone, borne away on the wings of tossed swords!

So yeah, you get SD'd and stored away for later use.

Lurker: 1
You don't die. The poison you drank was actually one of Gil's youth potions. So you live - except you're, like, 6.

Alex: 6
Great success! Your shotgun shot manages to hit Tyonis' leg!

The problem is that he was in one of these sealing thingers and you just freed him!

[Alan Girm Moria]

I glomp moela with my shotaness.

[Gilgamesh]

Lurker: 1

You miss Aela completely, landing on your face. You get sand in your mouth, scuff your cheek, and for your troubles, sent to one of these day care centers where you have to deal with a rabble of four year-olds.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I make like elfen lied and genocide the rabble.

[Gilgamesh]

Lurker: 4

You... you horrible person.

You kill every last day care teacher, every last janitor, and every last child and baby.

For good measure, you kill the hamster, too.

Good game. Good game.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I fingerpaint a masterpiece with the blood before setting the place on fire and skipping away. (2 actions)

[Gilgamesh]

Lurker: 2 and 1

Your painting is just ugly. Not eldritch ugly or anything; just as ugly as an old man's ass. Disheartened with your failure, you attempt to light the place on fire using an amber fluid.

You realize that it was all apple juice.

And now you're thirsty.

[Alex McCeol]

Shoot Lurker FOR GREAT JUSTICE

[Alan Girm Moria]

I drink alex's tears then roll to dodge. (2 actions)

[Tyonis Reybrant]

I throw my sword at Alan.

[Jordan Percival Gallagher]

I sit here and try to figure out why everyone is trying to kill each other.

[Nina Lüceanu]

I become Tyonis' queen and make him lick my feet. (2 actions)

[Gilgamesh]

Lurker: 3
As much as you try, Alex won't bring the waterworks in, so you tickle her for great justice, squeezing out a tear - which you lick off her face.

She's not so happy about that and shoots at you.

Alex V Lurker: 3 v 3
Lurker does a barrel roll before realizing that he's not Fox, and gets shot in the leg for his troubles.

Tyonis: 5
Tyonis, seeking a chance to defy physics again, tosses his sword at the hobbled Lurker, instantly killing him. Jegus christ, try something new! :V

Jordan: 3
You honestly have no actual, concrete answer. Maybe they're all just that fucked up

Nina: 4 and 3
For some reason, the knight without a king deigns to bow to you. When you ask him to kiss your feet though...

He's just not ready for that, and settles for kissing your hand.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I revive and troll dance. (2 actions)

[Roland]

I do nothing.

[Alex McCeol]

I punch lurker in the face

[Tyonis Reybrant]

(But throwing swords is....)

I roundhouse kick Lucker (DOUBLETEAM!).

EDIT: Also, I don't mind kissing Nina's feet...

[Jordan Percival Gallagher]

I kick Tyonis in the face for throwing a sword instead of using it right. (Philistine!)

[Enkidu]

I fly down in a helicopter and open fire on everyone with my machine gun (2 actions)

[hidan]

I Punch all of you

[Xenophon]

I disprove Planck's constant and Einstein's Theory of Relativity, thus rendering all science useless forever. (2 actions)

[Nina Lüceanu]

I develop the singular theory that can easily explain every process in the Universe thus really rendering all science useless forever.

[Tyonis Reybrant]

May 16, 2011 7:48:09 GMT -5 Nina Lüceanu said:

I develop the singular theory that can easily explain every process in the Universe thus really rendering all science useless forever.

Does this mean I can throw my sword with impunity now?

[Nina Lüceanu]

^ No matter what theory you apply, throwing swords rarely works. It's a fact, even though tvtropes and this topic say otherwise.