Roll to Dodge!

[Roland]

Lurker: 3

You have mindbroken the tentacle creature to escape! Unfortunately, it escaped along with you without letting you go. You are dragged along with him.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I GTFO.

[Roland]

Lurker: 4

You GTFO'd successfully.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I try to take over Boudica Iceni. V:

[Roland]

Merlin: 2

While trying to take over Boudice, you noticed that her leg suddenly extended into a kick right into your private parts. She rejected you.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I use cure 3 on my private parts.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I propose to Aozaki Aoko like a boss. (Tempting fate full throttle)

[Roland]

Merlin: 6

You have cured your private parts of every ailments possible with extreme precision and of a godlike flashy way. It went so well that you don't even feel them anymore. It might be because you have healed their existence, and thus they disappeared.

Lurker: 4

You have completed the Aoko route. Congratulations. You now have Aoko as your girlfriend.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I grow another pair.

[Roland]

Merlin: 2

You look a little constipated while trying to force your balls to grow.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I wish for better luck. V:

[Roland]

Merlin: 4

Level up! You have gained a rank in the LUK stat. Congratulations.

[Renard Aestling]

I try not to fail while just being me. :V

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I propose to the random number gawddess. in hopes she'll stop hating me so much

[Alan Girm Moria]

I erase the fourth wall from existance

[Roland]

Renard: 5

This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success! You have succeeded in your quest of not failing while being yourself!

Merlin: 1

She made you roll a 1. She rejected you, she kicked you in the spot where your balls formerly were, she gutted you and ended up keeping you as her torture toy.

Lurker: 1

In Roll to Dodge, Fourth Wall erases YOU. You are erased from existance.

[Renard Aestling]

I take the potato chip... And I eat it.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I revive myself and try to GTFO.

(two actions)

[Shiki Hiiragi]

I start a trend and waits to see how long it goes.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I use denial of nothingness to restore myself as dread of the grave plays.

[Roland]

Renard: 6

You have eaten a potato chip and eaten it in a way that would make Light Yagami and Luciano Mezzanote green with envy! You were so fabulous and sparkly that you didn't take the time to notice that this was the last potato chip in the world. Nevermore are you going to enjoy something like this.

Merlin: 2, 2 (respectively)

You weren't able to revive yourself, considering you weren't even dead to begin with. Just gutted. You also failed to GTFO.

Shiki: 3

The trend lasted a total of two minutes!

Lurker: 1

... You cemented the fact that you did not exist. Furthermore, it wasn't even Dread of the Grave that was playing, but Never Gonna Give You Up from Rick Astley.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

Gutteds not dead, wut?

I try to teleport to safety.

[Shiki Hiiragi]

I decide to go back through time and assassinate the leaders of the Axis powers during WWII.

[Roland]

(She was nice. She healed you over and over so she could torture you.)

Merlin: 4

You have teleported the hell out of there. You are now safe and sound from that evil goddess.

Shiki: 5

Congratulations! You have killed the leaders of the Axis power with grace and technique! You stopped a war with YOUR BARE HANDS.

[Alan Girm Moria]

I use a nonexistent sledgehammer to break back through the cement and into reality.

[Roland]

Lurker: 5

Success! You are now back into reality! Birds are singing, bees are buzzing; you enjoy your new existance and vitality, and are now armed with a nonexistent sledgehammer. To cement this fact even more, Aoko missed you so much that she invited you in her room for sexy tiems.

[Merlin Ambrosius]

I try to create my own city, New Merlz City.

[Shiki Hiiragi]

I decide to test my luck once more and challenge Aizen to a duel.

[Roland]

Merlin: 5

This was a triumph! You have created your very own city, and everyone of its inhabitants are now worshiping you as their new God. They built statues in your name; YOU are almighty in their eyes.

Shiki: 2

It's Aizen... You fail to defeat him.

[Shiki Hiiragi]

Deciding to try one last time before Blackbeard, escaping from Aizen, I perform a sneak attack on said troll.
(2 actions)