Saladin (Servant Rider)

[Saladin]

Rider



"Have no fear. it is not the custom of kings to kill kings."

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OTHER ALIAS: Saladin[/color]

CURRENT AGE: 40[/color]

YEAR OF BIRTH: 1138[/color]

GENDER: Male[/color]
ALIGNMENT: Lawful Good[/color]
OCCUPATION: Ayyubid Sultan of Egypt and Syria[/color]
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HEIGHT: 190 cm

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WEIGHT: 90 kg[/color]

EYE COLOR: Grey[/color]

HAIR COLOR: Black[/color]

PIERCINGS: Yes, small gold piercings - 3 on each ear[/color]

TATTOOS: None[/color]

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Arabic beauty - Tanned face, blackish deep eyes, smooth jaw, very dark hair, dry skin, small chin-bone[/color]
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• Chivalry
  

[li]I have lived by the list of rules given by Allah - to love, to respect and to set people who went astray on wrong path. But it also shown me that evil deeds must be punished and one must protect innoccent from the harm. Western knights call it Chivalry, I call it the path of a humble man who is true to his Lords words.

I have not been chosen to lead my people for something as trivial as spilling blood of my enemies. They have came to our land because they do not understand our culture and our ways. That's why I need to lead my people on the path that our ancestors has wished for us to take and we shall teach our enemies, who are so willing to brandish they swords at us, that redemption and justice is with us. Let them understand or fear us. I shall be an example, riding with my sword against a foreign enemy[/li][/ul]

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DISLIKES: Assassins, Cowardliness, Mistreating people for whom your responsible, injustice [/color]
STRENGTHS: My people, my beliefs and my faith are my strenghts. As long as I know what to believe in and as long as my goal is clear, I will not abandon it. I will pursue it even if my body was not to par - if shall happen, I will make it move and I will make it fight the good fight[/color]
WEAKNESSES: I have seen it times and times over, the cruelty, the human disregard of knowing what other want, what they believe in. I have shamed myself with some orders who were considered as lesser evil. I have been tired so many times and if a chance to stop fighting occurs - I am more than willing to take it, although it is when they hidden blade of assassin is willing to tear your skin with it's cold metal[/color]
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MY LEGEND: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saladin

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MY HISTORY:

I am Salah ad Din, named Saladin by my friends and enemies, the name was given for me by my father Najm ad-Din Ayyub – he was Kurdish soldier respected by many for his military power and wisdom. By his name, we were named the dynasty of “star of the faith”. As such, my name was given to me, to be the “light of the faith” and I have chosen to not stray from that path.

~~Religion and "Light of the Faith"~~

Although I was expected to continue my family expectations of being the soldier, with the name I was given I have devoted myself to religion. I was not far from abandoning the sword and becoming the preacher of words instead, and yet I saw many times that words do not reach some and force of devotion needs to be presented. It disgusted me and yet I found it necessary, as some attacks came without notice, without reason and without cause.

~~Wisdom~~

Children are brought up in the way in which their elders were brought up. I was taught Euclid, Almagest, arithmetic and law, but I decided to devote myself to science of religion. I taught myself genealogies, biographies and histories of the Arbas, as well as the bloodlines of Arabian horses to truly understand my heritage. I knew Hamasah of Abu Tamman by heart. Then how I became a general and a leader if I pushed myself in the world of books and not the world of sword? Because to truly lead your people, firstly you need to know them.

~~Jihad and Charisma~~

I was obsessed with Jihad, or as some unfortunately call it, holy war. I would study about it, talk about it, I would not be satisfied until the Jihad was carried out. I decided it was me to start it. I also used Jihad as a motivator for the Muslims, a goal for them to believe in. After warring against other small Muslim states, I was ready for Jihad. After working on my military skills until I thought it was perfect , I put my plan in motion. Some said that my skills were on par if not greater than most well known strategiest in the world. Without even having to deploy advanced military strategies, I beat back the Crusaders easily. It was decided by me that military strategies were more easily replaced by uniting all of the unruly, self governed states. Using this tactic, I was very successful. In no time, I had a huge well trained army ready when it was needed. At last we were ready for war. We were ready to fight against the Latin crusaders as their military equal.

~~Military Tactics ~~

I was appointed to be a commander by my uncle side. I had my moment to shine as I lead my Muslim brethren fighting the Crusader-Egyptian force, firstly by staging a false retreat and leading my enemies into unfavourable territory. We had them crushed them from every side and I was for the first time recognized as military commander. With Crusaders defeated, I have been sent to Alexandria to remain there and guard the city, which I did.

~~Assassins and Hatred to it~~

I have met with the awful art of battles that my enemies and some of my leaders preferred to, as I was a target of assassins. Egyptian forces had conspired to deal with me not on the battlefield but in my sleep or in my bath or while praying. I proved them they ways had no effect on me as I have pushed them strongly – while they were trying to defeat me by deception, I chased them with force and light of god. They last attempt on sneaky victory, which was a revolt, was quickly resolved as people who were revolting saw that I would not stop to bring peace to those lands. The revolt in Cairo was the last one in that land that I had to face – once I shown the deception of their ways, the assassins were forced to leave and peace was achieved.

~~Treachery and regret ~~

There are times I hate my fixation to treachery and assassins. The political assassinations and wars have left my leader al-Adid ill, by poison of assassins. He asked me to see him and so I did and requested me to take care of his children. I have refused, believing I would be a victim of a treachery and yet as I have later learnt, al-Adid feelings were honest and he truly wanted to entrust them to me. He died not long time later and I keep regret of turning down his last request till now.

~~Mercy ~~

I have many times shown foreign knights the way of servant of a god. When the crusaders struck as again, I have defeated them and captured the commanders. After crushing my enemies, battle after battle, they sent a convey to discuss truce. Nevertheless, Raynald has insulted my people and our God and had tortured my people, once I have captured him, I personally executed him and asked God to have mercy for his soul.

Guy of Lusignan was also captured, the kind and leader of the crusade. Seeing the execution of Raynald, he feared he would be next. But his life was spared by me and gave this words as parting gift, explaining my decision about Raynald.

"It is not the wont of kings, to kill kings; but that man had transgressed all bounds, and therefore did I treat him thus"


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MY GOALS:

I just want an answer, if the path I chose can be implanted in everyones mind. I will start Jihad again and the Holy Grail war will answer me what path I must choose to set the people on the path of peace. [/color]
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WEAPON: The Origin of Things - Islamic Sword - it's a normal islamic sword, made with bit more care than usual but as such, it's not extraordinary but it is capable weapon in fight against servants and especially power against masters

The Sultan Armour - The Sultan Armour gives some protection without decreasing movements. Consists of Islamic helmet, robe, belt with various mantras and leather protection. Like all armours of that era created for travels through deserts and tough environment, it decreases damage from cold and heat and decreases effect of wind to some extend. It is no defence against noble phantasms but it's as good protection against conventional weapons as any servants armour.

Sultan Knife - Beautiful dagger with diamonds - A weapon which is more of decoration that actual weapon and also a symbol of a sultan

1 piece of gold and 15 of silver - Coins of his era he was buried with[/color]
NOBLE PHANTASM:

Jihad - The Holy War that Unites

Rank: A+
Type: Anti-Army
Range: 400 meters
Max Targets: 100

NP Origin : The one who waged a holy war Jihad and believed in it's might

Saladin calls upon a holy quest - the Jihad - in form of phantasmal mount that shape that of an Arab horse in battle garnments and tatooed prayers. The Jihad mount embodies the willingness of every Islamic believer to engage in the holy war, making the force of the mount equivalent to the march and charge of 1000 of people.

The attack of the mount is either trampling or charging at high speed.


Saladin : Weapon of the Faith

Rank: C~~A+
Type: Anti-Unit
Range: 1 meter~~3 meter
Max Targets: 1~~10

NP Origin : Named by his father "Light of the Faith","Weapon of the Faith" and devoted his life to become that

Saladin was a strategist, but like with Raynald, he was always there to show an example for his men and kill those who caused great injustice and spared those who still had a chance of redemption. "Weapon of the Faith" is singular powerful slash. The sword grows three times in sizes and burns in red light.

The power of attack is represented by alignment of enemy - those who committed injustice in their past life or turned to chaos will receive more damage than noble knight. This attack does not work on any hero who fought in the name of Jihad.

A+ - Enemy is chaotic evil
A - Enemy is lawful evil or true evil
B - Enemy is neutral chaotic or insane, neutral or true lawful
C - Enemy is chaotic good, lawful good or true good

The power of attack does not in 100% concerns only alignment. If the servant during the holy grail war committed crime (using humans as source of energy,no care for endangering civilian life), he will be considered as "true evil" alignment - even if it was enforced by command spell.

Chant to say before attack :Bismillah Al-Rahman, Al-Rahim [In the name of Allah, the most compassionate, the most merciful]



Chain of Slavery (yeah, I still stubbornly keep on that - it felt for me like it was rather important act of Saladin)

Whenever someone is cursed, hexed or charmed, Saladin is capable of conjuring a spiritual chain coming from the person and breaking it with his sword. The attack can work on many magical curses or on curses that hero posses from the moment he was summoned. In theory it should also cure Berserker of "Insanity" yet the effect would be short as grail would simply reinstate the curse again on such servant - not to mention it would destroy the boost - it would be possible to destroy insanity curse without removing the boosts though - weakening the curse in mental area. It could also break command spells that go against enemy servants "ideology". Magical effects that actually help servant/magus and are not considered by them as curse cannot be manifested as chain.

The power allows Saladin to remove also any inflicted cursed wounds that were done to enemy, giving opportunity for Saladin to have a fair and honourable fight.

Saladin cannot use this noble phantasm on himself. Only Magical Resistance A may stop Saladin Noble Phantasm.

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CLASS ABILITIES:
Riding B
Magic Resistance C[/color]
SKILLS:

Charisma B - Represents the power to lead countries and huge armies and unite them under one ideal.

Military Tactics B - Saladin is known for his military genious and yet his rank is dropped because of his loss to Richard Lionheart. Nevertheless, Saladin never died in battle which keeps his rank high.

Field of detection C - Easier to detect spies or sneak attacks. Saladin is granted this skill because of his war with Hassassins, his famous dealing with Egyptian assassins and also unfortunate mistakes of Saladin when he expected treachery while such didn't exist. Presence Concelment of C rank has no effect on Saladin

Aegis of Faith B : The spiritual life of Saladin and his devotion grants him Mana Resistance C. It also forces Saladin to get into confrontation and not retreat if his religion is offended.

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STRENGTH: C

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ENDURANCE: C[/color]
AGILITY: C[/color]
MANA: C[/color]
LUCK: B[/color]
NOBLE PHANTASM: A+[/color]
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FACE CLAIM: //[/color]
OTHER CHARACTERS: None[/color]
MISC. INFORMATION: [/color]
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[Saladin]

All changes applied No changes will appear

[Tohsaka Rin]

Stupid Caster....

Well.. what do we have here? Finally a servant from the Orient.

First of all. The Alignment seems a bit off. It is rare for me to bother with Alignments, but are you sure that he is with all his chivalry and lawful actions not actually Lawful Good? That's just a question though. You can leave it if you are really sure about it.

It might not be too important either, but when you use "Arabic Beauty", what do you mean by that? It's supposed to be a distinguished feature, and I am not really sure what I should make out of it. Just because he is not Caucasian in Italy, does not really make him easy to identify. I would require an answer to that question.

The character traits are often not really sounding like personality traits, rather than random facts, and some are to a big extent just a continuation of the other. I am not sure if you have some problems with it, but you could also try to write one personality paragraph instead of splitting it up if it gives you trouble.

My people - My life - My soul[/b] for example is not really a personality trait, rather than an example to explain a trait... which I can't find here.

About the weapons. Servants used normal weapons that have become a part of their legend, and phantasms. Conceptional Weapons are a different kind. Please remove the word Conceptional. The armor has too many abilities, or you just stated it too ambitiously. I can certainly accept it as an armor like most Sabers wear, but you won't receive any magical benefits, except you make it into a Noble Phantasm Skill (Passive or Active)

It also empowers the single attack of Saladin's sword and his noble phantasm "Weapon of Faith" by one rank

You use an active NP to power up another active NP. Not only are NPs not supposed to be active like that at the same time in this manner, it also operates too different from the next NP to make it plausible. The NP is allowed, although sounding at the first read through more ambitious than it is (fortunately), but you need to remove the power up of your sword.

About the rank changing sword. The Rank does not only define the attack strength, but also how high the prana consumption is. I am not sure how well the sword can register or detect evil and alignment during the swing, but I will allow it as long as the others have no problem with it. I can't say that someone being forced and troubled turning True Evil is really fair though. But nonetheless, the only real problem here is that you can't combine it with Jihad.

Freedom to Slaves - The mercy of east knight
Denied. First of all, a servant and a master are not master and slave, even if some might think about that. Second, any servant would try to deal with their master before remaining prana/and helpless. Releasing a servant is a big rule break and not an act of mercy in the grail war. Furthermore, while Medea's Rule Breaker still required a direct hit, your skill seems to be automatic, without any chance to avoid. There are too many parts about this, including the big technical aspect to allow it.

Riding A is a bit high, considering he did not ride any Demonic or Holy Beasts. B should be more appropriate.

It's possible that Field of Detection might end up getting lowered by other Moderators, as it is more suitable for Casters, but you lowered it to B, which I can live with. (Would prefer C, but not too important.)

The stats are fine, and I see no problem if you would raise one of them, either.

Despite the long list of comments, the only real problem is your third Noble Phantasm. The rest are only minor issues. I think I can approve it in the next step.

Well, one final question though. Is "fallow" only a typo or some characteristic kind of speech for Saladin?

[Saladin]

Hey, thanks for reading my profile

First of all. The Alignment seems a bit off. It is rare for me to bother with Alignments, but are you sure that he is with all his chivalry and lawful actions not actually Lawful Good? That's just a question though. You can leave it if you are really sure about it.

I think your right - he is probably the same way as Arturia Saber. I will change to Lawful Good

It might not be too important either, but when you use "Arabic Beauty", what do you mean by that? It's supposed to be a distinguished feature, and I am not really sure what I should make out of it. Just because he is not Caucasian in Italy, does not really make him easy to identify. I would require an answer to that question.

I understand and yet I have some problems to describe it better myself. I frequently heard a phrase "Arabic beauty" - it mostly concerns genetic features of a face, tanned skin, almost always black hair. I will find a good reference for that over internet and probably just copy it here.

The character traits are often not really sounding like personality traits, rather than random facts, and some are to a big extent just a continuation of the other. I am not sure if you have some problems with it, but you could also try to write one personality paragraph instead of splitting it up if it gives you trouble.

My people - My life - My soul for example is not really a personality trait, rather than an example to explain a trait... which I can't find here.

True, that is exactly what I aimed for - I preferred to use exact examples of his life. I will remake them. Truthfully, I would just prefer to write that he is a guy who really cared about his people and his motivation to become who he was and all motivation of what he did was because of his love to those whom he swore to protect - but as I saw some other character reference, they made it bit more "in character".

About the weapons. Servants used normal weapons that have become a part of their legend, and phantasms. Conceptional Weapons are a different kind. Please remove the word Conceptional. The armor has too many abilities, or you just stated it too ambitiously. I can certainly accept it as an armor like most Sabers wear, but you won't receive any magical benefits, except you make it into a Noble Phantasm Skill (Passive or Active)

The armour abilities are actually not supposed to be of grant power, if even of E level. Those are it's actual properties in real world ;p I will correct that information

You use an active NP to power up another active NP. Not only are NPs not supposed to be active like that at the same time in this manner, it also operates too different from the next NP to make it plausible. The NP is allowed, although sounding at the first read through more ambitious than it is (fortunately), but you need to remove the power up of your sword.

Then could I request that modification :

A stalion trampling is equivalent to power of 1000 horse and slash of Saladin sword on Jihad is equivalen to 1000 slashes of his army (pretty much giving it same power as Jihad attack)

I know I'm changing worse for better but I wanted to amplify the power of sword attack on the mount.

Freedom to Slaves - The mercy of east knight
Denied. First of all, a servant and a master are not master and slave, even if some might think about that. Second, any servant would try to deal with their master before remaining prana/and helpless. Releasing a servant is a big rule break and not an act of mercy in the grail war. Furthermore, while Medea's Rule Breaker still required a direct hit, your skill seems to be automatic, without any chance to avoid. There are too many parts about this, including the big technical aspect to allow it.

I will think of something else. Also I haven't correctly specified the attack but it was supposed to be exactly like medeas - the blow on Servant body. Meaning the hit would need to not be blocked and meet actual body of a servant and not (for example) his weapon or noble phantasm.

I am wondering though if I could keep that NP on the term that opponent servant is willing to join Saladin ?

About the rank changing sword. The Rank does not only define the attack strength, but also how high the prana consumption is. I am not sure how well the sword can register or detect evil and alignment during the swing, but I will allow it as long as the others have no problem with it. I can't say that someone being forced and troubled turning True Evil is really fair though. But nonetheless, the only real problem here is that you can't combine it with Jihad.

Here I wanted to just explain my reasoning behind "True Evil" change. If a servant had been forced to evil - Saladin would offer him to rebel against his master. If the servant would refuse, Saladin will assume that the servant shares the believes of his master, and even if he doesn't, he enables his master to perform evil deeds and enables him to obtain holy grail that can be a weapon of mass destruction in bad hands.

Well, one final question though. Is "fallow" only a typo or some characteristic kind of speech for Saladin?

No, that's just my bad english habits - thanks for pointing those out. I don't have much opportunities to increase my english skills so I really appreciate any mistakes you could point out.

Thank you for review and I will apply changes as fast as possible

[Saladin]

Changes applied :

Alignment changed

Arabic Beauty more precisely described

Additional text to traits - now it also posses parts of Saladin simply describing himself

Weapons - corrected

Erased the possibility of connecting two NPs

Titled Freeing NP as denied

Riding A to B and Field of Detection from B to C (you said not important, but perhaps If you feel concerned about it, other would too and I don't mind dropping the skill a bit if it will make everyone happy)

[Tohsaka Rin]

And what if a servant does something good because of the master despite the Evil Alignment?

Well it is fine, although the final NP (if you want one) is missing. I can't allow it because offering aid is just not the same as a Rule Break. It would not fit your character to use a Rule Break and that's why it is quite limited to Medea.

You could at best do it the normal way and kill the master. Maybe the servant would fight less skilled and have you slip through to get to the master, but that's about it. The NP itself is the greatest problem, the fact if it hits or not, a smaller one, that could have been changed.

And I see about the word. I don't mind the typos, I only wondered because you always wrote it like that.

From what I see:

[1/2 APPROVAL]

Yet, you still need a master character. (Except you get the approval to go into the war without making a master first.)

[Saladin]

And what if a servant does something good because of the master despite the Evil Alignment?

Depends on two factors I believe - servant willingness and amount of sin accumulated in him. If he did something good like saved the whole city, then I can assume some evil servants could be redeemed in eyes of saladin and saladin's NP. Nevertheless, the most important thing is what servant represents with himself - be it evil in group of good or good in group of evil - meaning that if servants despite his actions shows disregard for human life or his actions are anything but noble, then justification for NP power exists.

FINAL NP

Chain of Slavery (yeah, I still stubbornly keep on that - it felt for me like it was rather important act of Saladin)

Whenever someone is cursed, hexed or charmed, Saladin is capable of conjuring a spiritual chain coming from the person and breaking it with his sword. The attack can work on many magical curses or on curses that hero posses from the moment he was summoned. In theory it should also cure Berserker of "Insanity" yet the effect would be short as grail would simply reinstate the curse again on such servant. It could also break command spells that go against enemy servants "ideology". Magical effects that actually help servant/magus and are not considered by them as curse cannot be manifested as chain.

The power allows Saladin to remove also any inflicted cursed wounds that were done to enemy, giving opportunity for Saladin to have a fair and honourable fight.

Saladin cannot use this noble phantasm on himself. Only Magical Resistance A may stop Saladin Noble Phantasm.

[Tohsaka Rin]

You have my heretic blessing.

Next approver.

[Aozaki Touko]

Just to prevent any issues with weapon and armor durability, I ask if your sword and armor are up to a fight against a Noble Phantasm weapon, since a normal weapon could easily get destroyed in the clash against a NP, thus the question since you don't mention that. You clearly state that the knife is not for combat purposes but the sword and armor need this extra information.

Rin took care of the rest but just to let you know, a striked section means a uncounted section, so it's just the same as if you didn't had a third NP.

Also, please put up an avatar that matches your character appearance.

[Saladin]

I have added just information that it's a good sword for the battle and that armour is not a real protection against NPs but it's good for most conventional weapons - as most armours are.

Considering weapons that servants posses are spiritual as they, my belief is that it won't break from first hit from excalibur - Sasaki Kojiro katana wasn't magical either and it endured several exchanges of swords with a sword that was supposed to be able to cut anything ;p (we can assume it's also thanks to Sasaki skills but I think physics would argue there ;p)

Changing avatar as quickly as possible

[Aozaki Touko]

In the novels, it was clearly stated that Saber sword was superior and Kojiro's skills were the only thing sparing his sword from being shattered but yes, it also goes that his sword was not made of paper but steel, which in the end resumes to common sense.

[2/2 Approval]

[Locked]