Post by Ilya Muromets on Jan 28, 2011 7:54:40 GMT -5
Do I have to write a history for a historic celebrity? I don't plan on making any changes to the actual history and generally don't feel like describing what happened in his life.
Post by Tohsaka Rin on Jan 28, 2011 12:53:21 GMT -5
Well, I feel a bit awkward for commenting on a Wip, but I will answer the question.
The short answer is:
Yes.
We certainly don't expect a very long and detailed history if you don't want to write one up and it is primarily for the purpose of giving your own history (in case the character got ..genderbent or received some fantasy upgrades).
Considering that heroes are mostly glorified in stories that give them actual power like their NPs rather than quite cold, historic data, that is just too normal, it is actually quite natural to add things. Even to the best of heroes.
It can also serve as your first step to Roleplay your character by telling a bit about their life. But as stated above, we don't expect a very long text. If it is a small paragraph that suffices already. We don't exactly have a text limit.
Post by Isaak Friels on Jan 31, 2011 13:34:51 GMT -5
Well, let us break this down by sections before I get lost in how much work needs to be done.
Phantasms : Elephants are not phantasmal beasts and thus aren't demonic. In fact, there are very few canon examples of beings becoming corrupted in general since Nasuverse demons aren't fallen or corrupted beings, they're just a race of beings. Those canon examples are of beings with divine lineage becoming lesser beings or monsters, Like Medusa did.
Second, elephants are only tough versus conventional weaponry. Phantasms are legendary weapons often said to be enchanted or cursed. I'm not seeing why weapons said to able to strike down demons and Gods are stopped by a normal animal's hide.
Third, Rank A++? Never. Even Medusas's Pegasus, a legendary extinct phantasmal beast, is simply Rank A+. I repeat, one of the most famous legendary extinct beast races is A+. You want an elephant, an existing and thus not phantasmal beast, to get an A++ rank and add to him an A ranked attack on top of having him as a amount. You want to have an A++ mount that can somehow face nearly 15 people, give him a charge attack that is an A rank, meaning an attack powerful enough to pierce God Hand, enough crowd control ability to face an entire 10 people unit at once.
What exactly do you even count as a normal phantasm anyway? No phantasms is normal to begin with. It's not like you can crowd servants together and pinpoint a few of them to say they have average phantasms. That doesn't even make sense.
And finally, how does calling any name allow you to somehow summon several dozens of the exact same thing you mount? This is as ridiculous as Lancelot mounting an F-15 and suddenly summoning an entire air base for cover. It's complete ridiculous, blantantly overpowered and makes no sense.
Why would these beats even manage to defend against something like Excalibur, which has a max target area of 1000 people? What makes them special to the level that they're comparable to Rho Aias, the ultimate shield versus projectiles, a shield that gained its power by defending against an impossible to achieve blow. Why are your common elephants on the level of a shield that achieved literally the impossible to achieve? How would they protect Hannibal from being served a toasty death? Crowding around him like some bong circle? How would they protect him from Excalibur's beam of light vaporising everything around it?
And why is even one alone enough to protect him? If an enemy has managed to kill all but one elephant, he's basically won, hasn't he? Why would a single animal be enough to save him from death if several dozens didn't?
Your second NP, First of all, a rank A+++ for something that is basically a rumour? Servants don't gain much power from such things or being more known, let alone a potentially infinite range debuff ability that lets you drop servant stats into basically nothing.
One, why would any servant be afraid of rumours anyway? Servants are heroes chosen because they did insane feats in life, they wouldn't cower in fear of someone's rumour based reputation.
Two, two ranks just because it's in the same country as the power supposedly originated from? Ancient Rome is long dead, why would he gain power from something that doesn't exist anymore?
Third, the fact that it even drops ranks to begin with, why would this even happen because they're somehow scared? This isn't even really a Phantasm, it's like some super-skill that can effectively null a good chunk of several's Servants stats to nothing or reduce them to no more than barking dogs. It's utterly and insanely overpowered, especially since it makes no sense whatsoever for a servant, a legendary hero, to be frightened of rumours. Rumours of death and overcoming it are what made many servants into heroes, no hero worth his salt of place in the throne would ever suffer from these effects.
Skills :
Riding skill : Way too high. At that level Hannibal could ride Phantasmal Beasts that were either extinct by his era or that he simply could never encounter to begin with. Hannibal isn't a legendary figure like a hero, he was a real person and not assosiated with actual legends. It's not like Hannibal was ever known to be an eximious rider to begin with. He's got a famous depiction of riding an elephant yes but not in combat or as a fighter. Definitely needs a rank down to B or so and that's only because it's his class.
I'm not sure why you're giving Hannibal, a general, battle continuation, a skill for heroes who fight beyond their body limitations and endure all wounds regardless. It's not just out of place in the clas, it's out of character. A General knows when to retreat. Disengage I could buy instead.
Bravery at A+? Certainly not. Bravery is a skill for fearless front line fighters who surpass all fears and limitations of the mind to perform feats that would otherwise kill them faster than sticking your hand in a sun. It's not even a skill that a good general should have.
Millitary tactics and charisma are appropriate skills but their ranks are also wrong. B is already enough to lead a country. Keep in mind that charisma is a rare talent in itself. Even a B in this is reserved for famous rulers like King Arthur. Hannibal would likely have this as a C by default. As for MT, keep in mind that Alexander the Great, the greatest conqueror in history, has a simple B in this. A at top form would not fly here. A B is certainly acceptable here as Hannibal's fame indicates but beyond that means he'd be usurping Alexander's claim to fame, which never happened.
Onto your stats, why the parenthesis then? I'm assuming the ranks outside them are the real current ranks so let's get to those, endurance B why? That's a pretty damn heavy resistance you'be got there. If i didn't know any better I'd swear you wou were wearing heavy armour and were a saber reknowned for his combat prowess.
Second, the mana stat. Why B? Hannibal has no magical legends associated with his name, he has no blessing from any divine being or fantastic creature so why does he have that huge mana tank that looks more suited to someone who was a Magus in life?
And third, that strength is really high for someone who has no prowess in personal combat to his name. Do keep in mind that even ranks E or D are already far beyond human. Hannibal may be a servant here but he was never a warrior in life. He can't exactly have such physical power when he never had any legend associated to being a warrior to begin with.
If the other stats are as outside parenthesis, those are fine. Those inside are not by a longshot.
Anyway, I'll leave the character traits and history to whoever comes after me since I hate wiki walking to check that type of thing.
Last Edit: Feb 1, 2011 20:38:00 GMT -5 by Isaak Friels
Post by Ilya Muromets on Feb 2, 2011 14:22:55 GMT -5
Iskander's stats aside, I actually decided to switch it to another Servant that I made back in the day. Will dig around my home PC for it when I get back home from the base.
