Celtchar (Lancer)

[celtchar]

Lancer



This is not the first time I’ve been ordered to battle. Nor shall it be the last."

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OTHER ALIAS: // Son of Uthecar, the terrible hero, Celtchair[/color]
CURRENT AGE: // 30[/color]
YEAR OF BIRTH: // 700 [/color]
GENDER: // Male[/color]
ALIGNMENT: // True Neutral[/color]
OCCUPATION: // Freelance warrior[/color]
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HEIGHT: // 6’1

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WEIGHT: // 200 lb[/color]
EYE COLOR: // Gold[/color]
HAIR COLOR: // Brown[/color]
PIERCINGS: // [/color]
TATTOOS: //[/color]
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES:// When outside of his armor, Celtchar is a handsome, but roguish looking young man who wears a long coat.[/color]
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• Cold-hearted
  
  • Owner of an icy heart, Celtchar doesn’t show much emotion, instead being a stoic and silent champion. One could say that he is a little warmer on the inside, but he considers these emotions weakening and thus has mentally put up a barrier so that these emotions will never show, especially not in battle.
  
  
• Daring
  
  • Celtchar is a very bold person, one who will rush into battle at the call of his master. He doesn’t fear or run away. Instead, he faces his enemy’s head on. While this might be considered reckless by some, Celtchar attacks with such calmness that all of his moves are carefully thought out.
  
  
• Self-sacrificial
  
  • He is the type of man who’ll give his life even when it isn’t necessary. He believes greatly in sacrifice, something he thinks the heroes of modern day aren’t so good at. He’ll take all of the hits, the battles, all of it. Why, is the question most people ask when they see him ready to give his life. Only he knows the reason why and that is because he can take it.
  
  
• Obedient
  
  • He is a very respectful man, listening to orders. He doesn’t hesitate when giving one or even think about the morals of said order. Instead, he does it. The reason why is because he is a warrior, to be commanded. Celtchar truly cannot think of a life without being told what to do. It’s become a part of life for him.
  
  

LIKES: // Women, brave people, animals, reading, and studying the art of fighting.

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DISLIKES: // Cowards, those who aren’t willing to give their life to battle, and people who talk way TOO much.[/color]
STRENGTHS: // His endurance, his mental ability to take all of the pain that life throws on him and still keep moving. It is through this pain that he gets stronger, that he grows and adapts to it.[/color]
WEAKNESSES: // His loyalty – which can be used against him. Threaten his master and he’ll quickly give his life to defend them. He knows this is a weakness, but dislikes not listening, purely for the fact that he is a warrior.[/color]
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MY LEGEND: // en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtchar

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MY HISTORY: // It was a bright day when I murdered the man who had slept with my wife. I knew not if she had come to his hostel willingly or if he had seduced her with the promises of riches. Still, every woman in Ulster knew of Blai’s nature. He had a geis over him, which supposedly forced him to sleep with any women who stayed at his home. None of it mattered not to me for in my youth, I was a brash warrior, one who done many dark things in his day, thinking no one would ever take notice. Like my other crimes, I expected to get away without any consequences. I was wrong, indeed.

When I arrived at his Hostel, I didn’t wait for my wife to leave. I immediately rushed in and knocked down the door, my spear in right hand. I ran in a straight bee-line, going through walls, until I reached Blai’s bedroom. Although his door was nice and made of fine wood, like the rest of his house, I knocked it down without a single thought. There they were, cuddling under a warm wool blanket. I didn’t announce my presence; I just charged forward and pierced. My spear went through the blanket and by the gods’ luck, I hadn’t stabbed my wife, but instead Blai, directly in the chest. When Brieg cried out, my hand shot out. I grabbed her, forcefully and dragged her out of the hostel. She was naked, but I didn’t care. I’d seen her body before, but I was starting to doubt if the rest of Ulster in its entirety hadn’t either.

I dragged her back to my own house, much smaller then Blai’s. I sneered at her and shouted, “Is this not good enough for you! Your own children live in this house! Yet, you go to the house of another man!” By this time, the entirety of Ulster had seen my wife’s body. Angrily, I threw her on the ground and two men ran over to restrain me. They grabbed me, trying to hold me back. Oh how I wanted to beat her, make her learn a lesson, but I couldn’t. The Royals were coming and I fearfully looked over at them. “Run! Run, father!” My eldest son shouted. I leapt to my feet and started to sprint. I was a quick man despite my size and pushing through the crowd, I was able to escape. Just as I had recklessly charged into Blai’s hostel, I recklessly ran with no plans to stop soon.

I ran long until I reached the Land of the Desi of Munster, a southern region. It was there that I could think of the actions which had led to my banishment. I tried to blame it on everyone, Blai, my wife Brieg. But I always realized that I was the one who was at fault. I hadn’t been able to control myself, I allowed rage to take over and it had placed me in a position of outcast. It was there that, alone, I started to care a little less. I took those emotions, the blazing passion and shoved it all behind a wall. I stared out at the night-sky every night, my eyes cold. One day I would return to Ulster and they would see how I changed.

That day finally came when a man, a splitting image of me, but with his mother’s blue eyes. “Why have you come, son?” I asked. The boy looked me in my eyes and says, “They will allow you to return. I act as safeguard, but you must do tasks for the kingdom in order for you banishment to be truly done away with.” Calmly, I stood up and said, “I will come with you and you will tell the people of Ulster that Celtchar, the son of Uthechar is returning to fight for the kingdom.”

And so I returned to Ulster. [/color]
MY GOALS: // Fight for my master, protect my master, and when the time comes, give my life for the master.[/color]
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NOBLE PHANTASM: //

Flames of Luin
Rank: B
Type: Anti-Personnel
Range: 3 m
Max Targets: 9

The Flames of Luin are a Noble Phantasm that when cast activates the Luin of Celtchar’s special power. The metal of the lance-spear becomes even hotter then usual. Flames then burst out of the lance’s tips, eventually covering the entire spear. In direct contrast with Celtchar’s cold, unemotional nature, the Luin’s flames are a bright-orange showing the fiery passion of his SOUL. He can’t truly control these flames, merely throw them at his enemies, burning them and increasing the force of his already strong attacks. When the flames are activated, he usually just does a bull-rush slamming into anything in front of him.

Boiling Poison
Rank: C
Type: Anti-Personnel/Army/Fortress/Support
Range: 3
Max Targets: 1 (Personal)[/color]

The poison of the Luin is often overlooked – a foolish mistake. Those who created the poison wanted those who were stabbed by the Luin to die a slow, painful death. Thus, the Noble Phantasm mimics this. When it is cast, a dark liquid pours out of the tip, coating the spear in the deadly poison. Those who are pierced, stabbed, or even straight by the lance’s tip will have icy poison pumping through their veins quickly. The poison deals out status damage, slowly. It gets the job done which is what Celtchar is looking for.

Throw of the Kingdom
Rank: A
Type: Army
Range: 20
Max Targets: 36

His strongest Noble Phantasm, the Throw of the Kingdom was largely underestimated in the legends. It was said that the lance managed to kill 9 people in one throw, which is incorrect. Celtchar actually killed 36 people with one throw. How can one spear kill so many people? When thrown and cast, the lance creates a massive explosion as soon as it comes into contact with its first target. This explosion can kill 36 people, but Celtchar only uses it as a last resort.

CLASS ABILITIES: // Magical resistance D- cancel Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy. While it provides as a good defense against weak spells, stronger spells can bypass this protection.[/color]
SKILLS: //
Battle Continuation B- : Capable of ignoring all penalties that damage might cause while still suffering in the end through amassed battle damage. Through a combination of his cold-heart and his loyalty, Celtchar will not give up.
Bravery B- : Immunity to psychic and psychological ailments. Celtchar has endured much in his long life. He refuses to break until he is done serving his master.
Heart of Harmony B- : Attacks cannot be perceived by the enemy. His stabs are so fast that they’re hard to keep up with.
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STRENGTH: // C

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ENDURANCE: // A[/color]
AGILITY: // A[/color]
MANA: // D[/color]
LUCK: // D[/color]
NOBLE PHANTASM: / / A
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FACE CLAIM: // [/color] Zest Grangeitz (Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha)
OTHER CHARACTERS: // None[/color]
MISC. INFORMATION: //[/color]
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[Gilgamesh]

Hmm. Dunno if you're done or not, but since your last edit was three weeks ago...

First, I'd like you to capitalize your name, as well as find/make an avatar. Standard protocol and all.

Also, history seems a bit sparse. We already know how Celtchar died and all that. Why did you cut it off halfway through? I'd like a bit more extension on that.

Now, to NPs.

First off, I don't think that the Flames of Luin really need to be B ranked, since it's just a flaming lance. C would be perfectly fine. Also, you say that Celtchar can't control the flames, but he can throw them at people? That's quite contradictory, since throwing the flames would imply a level of control greater than some chaotic, swirling flames deal.

Second, Boiling Poison. Alright, so he throws it and the poison kicks in. The problem is that three meters for a throw is rather short. Especially when your flames can apparently reach that range already. Second, what do you mean by 'status' damage? Does it attack the stats? Or does it deal debilitating, crippling damage over time?

Also, what does this part mean?

those who are pierced, stabbed, or even straight by the lance’s tip

Straight? I don't remember when that word became a verb. I'd like a little clarification on that.

Third, Throw of the Kingdom. I don't understand. What's with the personal rewrite? Why did it suddenly change from 9 to 36 people? I see no point in that. Mind enlightening me on this matter?

Lastly, I'm not quite sure where battle continuation came from. As far as I know and as far as you say, he gets it just because he's determined. BC is the skill to keep fighting, even though you get your entrails torn out, like Cu Chulainn did in his legend. There is no reason for Celtchar to have BC; not with your history, nor with your explanation being as sparse as they are.

Sorry if I came off as too harsh. But this profile could use a little work, which is fine. All of us are new anyways, and need to get a handle on this sort of stuff. When you finish addressing my points, bump this thread and I'll swoop back in with the Gate of Babylon at the ready, mkay?