Renard Aestling (Master)

[Renard Aestling]

Renard Aestling



"Blood isn't everything. Even the Barthomeloi probably had a few talentless morons in their oh-so glorious history, so what makes you think you're any better off?"

[/color][/b][/color] Renard Lynde Aestling
NICKNAMES: //[/color] None he'd admit to.
AGE: //[/color] 25
DATE OF BIRTH: //[/color] December 15
GENDER: //[/color] Male
ALIGNMENT: //[/color] Neutral Good
OCCUPATION: //[/color] Magus
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[/color][/b][/color] Renard stands at roughly an average height with a slim, fit build and skin paled by far too many days shuttered away in a reclusive study.

HEIGHT: //

[/color] 5' 9''
WEIGHT: //[/color] 135 lbs.
EYE COLOR: //[/color] Silver
HAIR COLOR: //[/color] Grey
PIERCINGS: //[/color] None
TATTOOS: //[/color] None
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: //[/color] Renard carries himself well, as if he was of noble breeding, but manages to avoid the snootiness and condescension that usually accompanies it.
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[/color][/b][/color] When he's not exercising his sharp tongue or outright ignoring you, Renard sincerely tries to be good-natured and altruistic, but this has been nearly ground out of him due to the years of being kicked about by those from older, more powerful families. Thus he has become quite the cynic, though he indulges in idealistic foolishness from time to time. He is quick to get frustrated and annoyed, but slow to truly get angry, and is rather forgiving so long as you don't condescend to him or try to get him into a dick-waving contest over whose family is more powerful. He also has a tendency to think out loud, dig proverbial holes for himself, and trail off into rants which usually end up being oddly cathartic for him.

In short:

[li]Knight in Sour Armor

• He wants to be nice, honest! And he does have good intentions, but it's kinda hard to act accordingly when he keeps getting smacked upside the head for it...

[/li][li]"Don't you dare pity me!"

• Renard hates being looked down on. A lot.

[/li][li]Deadpan Snarker

• 'Natch.

LIKES: //

[/color] Reading, rock-climbing, music, good food and wine.
DISLIKES: //[/color] Pointless posturing, people looking down their nose at him, corrupt people.
STRENGTHS: //[/color] Despite his apparent disdain for everyone around him he is loyal to a fault to those he deems worth the effort.
WEAKNESSES: //[/color] Renard is sometimes a little too jaded, and will often mistake an honestly well-meaning action as a setup for him to get stepped on once more. Understandably this turns some people off.
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MY FAMILY LINE: //

[/color] Ever since the Aestling family came into its own as a line of magi around 400 years ago they knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to reach the same levels of raw power as was held by more venerable families such as the Edelfeldt and Einzbern. To compensate for this, they devoted themselves to perfecting the rudiments of magecraft as well as modifying existing spells for efficiency and ease of use, following the line of thinking that everything counts in large amounts. Of course, this didn't win them any friends in the Association, especially among the more traditional families who saw the Aestlings as rabble-rousers trailing along on the coattails of the more established families.

The fact that the Aestling family specializes in Fire-aligned magecraft may be seen as odd until you consider that Fire spells tend to be powerful and efficient, fitting the family's philosophy to a T.

MY HISTORY: //[/color] Renard had an unremarkable childhood, with the only real event of note being when the Crest and mystic code were passed on to him as the firstborn son of the line. Shortly afterward he was sent packing to the Clock Tower academy with stars in his eyes and dreams of a bright future. Long story short, things went downhill from there very quickly. Renard was an excellent student, but given the deep-seated power clashes and prejudices prevalent in the school (not to mention the Association's distaste for his family and their perceived lack of respect for tradition), it was tough going for Renard. As everything came down on him though, the pressure only served to harden him and thus improve his chances. Lately things seemed to be faring somewhat better as he began to dabble in alchemy and quickly found he wasn't too shabby at it. Once again however, fate had other plans for Renard as he received a package with no markings save his name, and with it an envelope stuffed nearly to bursting...

MY GOALS: //[/color] In a nutshell, to make a name for myself and prove to those stuffed shirts at the Clock Tower that even a relatively young line of magi can make their mark (even if the mark in question has to be a black smudge and a crater where the Clock Tower used to stand...).
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[/color][/b][/color] 1 stiletto roughly 6'' in length (concealed), 1 fireproofed black leather trenchcoat 1 pair of fireproofed black leather gloves, 1 3.5' cane sword (not usually carried unless expecting trouble)
RANK: //[/color] 5th
ELEMENT: //[/color]Fire
EXPERTISE: //[/color] Fire-based magecraft, spell modification (as per his family's specialty), alchemy, mechanics.
MAGIC CIRCUITS: //[/color] Gifted mage of a semi-young family (approx. 400 years)
20 natural circuits, 6PrC, 120 Prana
10 crest circuits, 6PrC, 60 Prana
Grand total: 180 max Prana
SPELLS: //[/color]

Fireball (Modified) (Fire)
Rank: D
Cost: 5 Pr
Range: 8m
Effect: Increases temperature in the oxygen molecules within the caster's grasp until it ignites. Can be thrown to a distance of up to 8m before dissipating. Causes 3rd degree burns and will ignite readily combustible materials. Surprisingly, the only improvements made by the Aestlings have been to slightly increase the potential damage and effective range of the fireball with an increase in Prana consumption to match.

Flammenzunge (Fire)
Rank: C
Cost: 8 Pr to initiate, then 8 Pr/sec upkeep.
Range: 1m
Effect: In essence, it's a magical flamethrower. It takes the same underlying principles as the Plamya Pika and dramatically reduces the range in favour of producing a sustained gout of flame from the user's palm (instead of creating a point-to-point line of pure O2, it's more akin to a conical spray of LOX) that will easily roast anything in its path with the same speed and efficiency as a mechanical flamethrower. However it doesn't hold a candle to the Flumen Infernalis, and can be put out through normal means. Three-line activation.

Backdraft (Fire)
Rank: C
Cost: 25 Pr
Range: 10m (1.5m blast radius)
Effect: Essentially this starts the same as a fireball, except that the air pocket is stopped just short of combustion, and leaves an invisible thread of prana in its wake leading back to the caster's hand. Through this thread the caster can implode the air pocket, superheat it, and finally allow it to explode. This causes an intense pressure wave with enough force to liquify bones and organs while tossing its victims around like rag dolls. Three-line activation.

Löschwasser (Fire)
Rank: B
Cost: 48pr
Range: 30m
Effect: This fearsome spell turns any unbound water in range to fire simply by super-heating it to the point at which the bonds between the hydrogen and oxygen atoms dissolve and, and then touching them off with a spark. The end effect varies depending on the quantities of water involved, but it's hard to argue with even just the sheer shock and awe this spell inspires. Three-verse activation.

PLAYER'S NAME: //[/color] Heretic95
FACE CLAIM: //[/color] Akihiko Sanada from multiple MegaTen: Persona games.
OTHER CHARACTERS: //[/color] None
MISC. INFORMATION: //[/color]
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[Renard Aestling]

Well. I'm as ready as I'll ever be I guess... And now we wait... Dis/approve away!

[Renard Aestling]

Bumping for approval. It's been about 3 or 4 days now.

[Tohsaka Rin]

Please take your age and the age of your family into consideration.

Although the crest is quite okay, the rest of your circuits is a bit high.

A real problem is that most of your spells are single liners, which are usually stabilized in a crest. Yours is extremely young. You should primarily use the original lines for the spell level and even if it would be older, using this amount of fast spells is too much.

Your sorcery trait is a bit ambitious and even worse in the combination with the quite almighty Mystic Code. Right now you could absorb a spell up to strength A (much better than any Magical Defense on a Servant) and throw it back at the user at a lower Rank, and then also analyze it and shortly put it into the family repertoire.

Your MC is already closing in on a Noble Phantasm.

It's rather sad but I need you to do the following things.

1.) Reduce overall prana
2.) More description and limiter to the sorcery trait (too ambitious now, which results in 5 too)
3.) Remove the current MC (I can't allow it)
4.) Raise the Prana Cost of your spells in general (not much)
5.) Normalize the chanting time (too crazy right now)

The trait is combat wise just too overpowered and for a magus in general too useful. You could with this trait be a super magus in clock tower because reaching higher ranked spells is not a dream for you.

The profile has some concept problems because of this.

Also keep in mind: Pure Alchemists are not totally fond of magi, magi not of alchemists, and magi despite modern technology. Finding a perfect balance between them is not just difficult but impossible. You need to really concentrate on one aspect and display that in your profile.

[Renard Aestling]

Modifications made per request. Now feeling throughly foolish.

For the sake of argument... (Not trying to pick a fight, just explaining my line of thinking.)
- The trait was less a conscious analysis and more a sense of intuition. He wouldn't necessarily know how to cast it or the required aria, but he'd know the physical mechanics of the spell (ie. the fact that Plamya Pika works by igniting a line of pure oxygen). As such, he wouldn't be able to add it to the crest unless he actually did a more detailed study through normal means at a later date.

[Tohsaka Rin]

You should still raise Flammenzunge's Initial costs and upkeep/running costs.

You would need to add some description about the difference between full prana and partial attack, although a spell has actually a fixed Rank and a fixed cost and a fixed ability.

Hoping that you will think a bit about it and can tune it a bit more before the next mod turns an eye on it, I would have no real problem even with the current form.

[1/2 APPROVAL]

[Aozaki Touko]

I'm fine with the activation costs for Flammenzunge but the upkeep one must definitely be higher, if not the same as the activation when you are keeping a flamethrower alive.

Also, you are lacking the explanation on Löschwasser, you refereed it to some other spell that is not on your profile, please fix that.

[Renard Aestling]

Changes made once again...

[Aozaki Touko]

Turn water into fire? Hot vapor would be more like it as it can cause the same effect, burns of high degrees and what not else. If this is what you meant, please correct it, if not, please explain as I'm lost as to what your Löschwasser spell do.

When the path of magic and science crosses each other, the history begins . . .

[2/2 Approval]

[Locked]