Cleopatra (Servant)

[Cleopatra]

Caster



"Am I so beautiful that you've no words left?"

FULL NAME: //

[/color] Cleopatra VII Philopator.
OTHER ALIAS: //[/color] Cleopatra, Cleo.
CURRENT AGE: //[/color] 24~25
YEAR OF BIRTH: //[/color] Late 69 BC.
GENDER: //[/color] Female.
ALIGNMENT: //[/color] Chaotic Good.
OCCUPATION: //[/color] Servant.
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APPEARANCE: //[/color]
Doctor Cleo is in the house~
Smexy time~~
Cleo is not amused.
Working her charms~

HEIGHT: //

[/color] 170.688cm
WEIGHT: //[/color] 58.2 kg
EYE COLOR: //[/color] Golden yellow
HAIR COLOR: //[/color] Black/Brown
PIERCINGS: //[/color] None
TATTOOS: //[/color] An Egyptian Ankh on her upper-outer thigh/hip.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: //[/color] --
[/size][/blockquote]

PERSONALITY: //[/color]

• Strong-Willed
  
  • When Cleopatra wants something, she will get it. There is hardly a boundary for her. She will do nearly anything to achieve what she wants. This does not mean she charges head-first into situations, however. She does calculate and plan her plots, she doesn't like to fail. The well-being of her beloved nation comes first, above anything else.
  
  
• Cunning
  
  • Playing in to her drive to get what she wants, Cleo will not think twice about being deceitful, if it means advancing toward a goal. She'll often do this very subtly, she'll act like she's on your side, but the next minute, your just another toy, a pawn in her plans. It works exceptionally well with her Mystic Face. There aren't many who can deny her charms.
  
  
• Independant
  
  • Cleopatra likes to work alone most times. She doesn't reveal her plans, she doesn't like to let on what she's thinking. These times have made it very hard for her, since she is not the only one on her team. When dealing with others, she tries to become the boss and leader, which works in most situations. She was the ruler of a powerful country in her time, after all.
  
  
• Sensual
  
  • With a smooth, feminine voice, curves, and a beautiful face, there's no reason she shouldn't put them to work. Cleo knows men can't resist her sometimes, so she plays that to her advantage. She enjoys the attention, as well. There is nothing wrong with shameless flirting, in her eyes.
  
  

LIKES: //[/color] Men, heat, water, succeeding.
DISLIKES: //[/color] Losing, rejection.
STRENGTHS: //[/color] Leading, yet sometimes, manipulating. Since she is a Caster, she also is great at casting spells. Her agility is also pretty good.
WEAKNESSES: //[/color] Hand to hand combat. She cannot fight with a sword or just about any weapon.
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MY LEGEND: //[/color] Cleopatra VII
MY HISTORY: //[/color]

MY GOALS: //[/color] To restore Egypt to it's former glory, and the glory it almost had.
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WEAPON: //[/color]

[/b] Staff of Isis, the Goddess of Magic
Owner: Supposedly Isis, it belongs to Cleopatra now.
Type: Support
Rank: A+
Range: 1m
Maximum Number of Targets: 1; Cleopatra
Story: If it's true, then the staff originally belonged to Isis, and somehow or someway, Cleopatra managed to get a hold of it. To compliment her capabilities as Caster, she casts her spells through the staff.
Effect: This staff is a Godsend. So long as Cleopatra channels her spells through this beforehand, not only is the cost of the spell half of its original price, but the damage is doubled.[/ul]
NOBLE PHANTASM: //[/color]

[/b] Ankh of Isis
Owner: Supposedly Isis, it belongs to Cleopatra now.
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: A+
Range: 1 - 10m
Maximum Number of Targets: 5
Story: An Ankh medallion that Cleopatra wears around her neck. Supposedly from the Goddess Isis, of whom Cleopatra was a very devout worshipper. While this isn't a passive thing like the staff, when she activates it, hilarity ensues.
Effect: Whenever Cleopatra activates this thing, all members of the opposite sex with a Mana level of B or lower in range will be effected. For the next five minutes, they will be attempting to brutally murder each other for the queen's affection. If it's 1v1, then the target will be slightly under the control of Cleopatra for five minutes. For example, they'll feel so in love with her, they'd kiss her feet, if she willed it.

[/b] No problems resisting her charms.
B-Rank: They start to become effected, but they can resist the urge if they try hard enough. If she attacks, it wears off immediately. If the five minutes is up, they return to normal.
C-Rank: It takes the full five minutes to return to normal. They have very, very little resistance with non-lethal requests.
D-Rank and Below: There is little hope for you. ;D[/ul]

Name: Venomous Blood, the Queen's last breath.
Owner: Cleopatra
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Range: 1m
Maximum Number of Targets: 1
Story: Cleopatra met her end at the hands of a snake. Summoned as a Caster, she finally gets to put the shoe on the other foot, turning her body into a living toxic bomb.
Effect: Whenever Cleopatra wills, she can leave some of her... DNA... on someone (whether it be scratching, biting or... exchanging bodily fluids...) it enacts a deadly poison on the poor recipient, resulting in death. To be honest, this isn't hard to resist. While it'll kill a Servant with terrible Mana (D or lower), a Servant with C rank Mana or higher will simply have their parameters lowered by one rank.[/ul]
CLASS ABILITIES: //[/color]

[/b]

[/i] Capable of making healing potions that grant limited immortality.[/ul]
Territory Creation

[/i] Creation of a "Temple", which is superior to a "Workshop", becomes possible.[/ul][/ul]
SKILLS: //[/color]

[/b]

[/i] Suitable for a king of a country, or in this case, the Last Pharaoh of Egypt.[/ul]
Divinity

[/i] Egyptian religion declared Pharaohs to be Children of Ra.[/ul]
Mystic Face

[/i] The opposite sex will soon come to love the enrapturing beauty just by looking at her face.[/ul]
Ancient Egyptian Magic

[/i] Being a Caster, she needs to cast spells, right? She sends forth Egyptian Cobras and other slithery serpants to do her bidding.[/ul][/ul]

STRENGTH: //

[/color] E
ENDURANCE: //[/color] D
AGILITY: //[/color] C
MANA: //[/color] A+
LUCK: //[/color] B
NOBLE PHANTASM: //[/color] A+
[/blockquote][/size]

PLAYER'S NAME: //[/color] Cleo~
FACE CLAIM: //[/color] Namie from Durarara!!!
OTHER CHARACTERS: //[/color] None yet~
MISC. INFORMATION: //[/color] Erm, forgive me if there is anything wrong, I am a FSN newb. ^^;;
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[Tohsaka Rin]

A nice character and very well done, expecially for a newbie. I actually began to wonder what kind of Noble Phantasm she might gain, and like the end result.

While the profile is fine, I only would like to change minor parts about your Rank A++ NP.

I think it might be better to reduce the Mana Stat to B instead of a rather high A and you can then also lower the NP to an A+. Somehow your NP is directly influenced by your Charm Stat and Mana Level. I don't mind it to be stated as an A++, but A+ might be closer to the real level (if you lower it to B).

You should also consider to think of another effect for it though. The problem is that it is very useless if you fight a servant one on one, except that is intended.

Last but not least: your 1-10 are meters, right?

After that, the first approval will be yours.

[Cleopatra]

Okay, I changed it up a bit. I added a 1v1 thing to the Ankh, so hopefully that change will be okay, since you said it'd be useless in a 1v1... So hopefully now it won't be... <.<

But er, yeah! I hope my changes are okay!

[Tohsaka Rin]

Good, someone could reach and inform you about the misunderstanding. I have no qualms anymore. I only should mention that Fate Skills and weapon descriptions are partly an explanation for their skills. This means that the boni you have in your Ankh were already taken up in your stats and you won't get any additional amplifiers during combat, but you are quite the killer anyway.

About the servant battles. I think the NP deserves a Ranking List to allow servants a bit of resistance or they are automatically dead, when they can't do anything for 5 minutes and when you can order them to kiss your feet, you could eventually also order them to kill themselves.

It is a bit hard, but I want to add that servants can still resist it to some extent, even if they are captivated, so I suggest an easier method: That they cannot attack is fine, but it should be broken when they end up getting attacked by their 'love'. Self preservance over fake love.

Nonetheless.. I assume that can be done by the next mod.

[1/2 Approval] ..stamps lie around somewhere.

[Illyasviel von Einzbern]

Okay, first thing I should note, is that you have the Class Abilities and Skills in reverse.

Charisma, Ancient Egyptian Magic, Mystic Face, and Divinity should be under "Skills".

Tool Creation and Territory Creation should be under "Class Abilities".

As for the Ankh NP, I'd follow up with what Rin-san is asking for, and request a scale of resistance levels per rank of Mana i.e. effects against B, C, etc. A little complex, yes, but it should help with the balancing.

[Cleopatra]

I think I fixed all that I needed to. ^.^ Elaborated on the rank thing, too. I hope that's okay.

[Illyasviel von Einzbern]

Alright then, Queen of Kings~ You've done splendidly and gone through this trial with much grace. I now present you, with a token that represents your success in passing it.



~Ilya