Post by Tiresias on Oct 31, 2010 12:47:56 GMT -5
Caster
"You don't really want to know, you just think you do."
"You don't really want to know, you just think you do."
OTHER ALIAS: //[/color] I'm sometimes called The Blind Prophet, or The Great Prophet. Mostly by people trying to get something out of me.
CURRENT AGE: //[/color] I'm gods-damned ancient
YEAR OF BIRTH: //[/color] Seven-eight lifetimes is a long time to give a shit about your birthday. I sort of don't care. It was a long, long time ago.
GENDER: //[/color] I'm a man!
ALIGNMENT: //[/color] Pfft, alignment. I guess I'm True Neutral, because fuck everyone.
OCCUPATION: //[/color] I'm THE prophet. I was a former priest of Zeus, former priestess of Hera, and a former prostitute. Don't look at me like that.
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Otherwise I prefer staying incorporeal.
HEIGHT: //[/color] 175 cm
WEIGHT: //[/color] 65 kilograms
EYE COLOR: //[/color] White on white, an unfortunate case of blindness and Mystic Eye buggery.
HAIR COLOR: //[/color] White.
PIERCINGS: //[/color] I had enough holes when I was born, thanks.
TATTOOS: //[/color] Thanks to the gods I don't have any, or the wrinkled mess would be impossible to recognize.
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: //[/color] I look seven lifetimes old, and have white-within-white eyes. I'm a little hard to miss.
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- I'm Resigned
- The thing about knowing the perfect, simple Truth is that you really cannot deny it. You can bemoan it, you can hate it, you can wish with all your heart that it simply was not true. But you can never deny it. I keep telling people that they don't WANT to seek the Truth of the World, because not knowing is the only way you'll enjoy it. To not know for certain, that is true bliss.
- I'm pretty Stubborn
- I hate telling the Truth. I don't want to talk about any sort of truth, even little-tee truths, and I make it very clear that no, you don't want to know. Nobody ever LISTENS to me, but I do my best at trying to refuse... until someone pisses me off. Usually by making fun of my blindness, that's a bit of a sore spot. Then I'll let them have so much Truth they choke on it, the assholes.
- I'm kind of an Asshole
- I know I seem like a grump. I don't like people, mostly because they either want to ask me stupid questions or stare at my weird, blind eyes. Most of them don't know what they're actually asking from me anyway, and they'll inevitably hate the answers. I tried to crouch Truth in veiled phrases and riddles, to protect them from knowing and hating, but that made people even more upset. They "wanted" straight answers, and usually berated me until I got fed up and gave answers so straight they ran home crying, or killed themselves. That's actually happened, no joke.
- I kinda wish I was normal
- Even though I hate the knowing the Truth, and I hate people that constantly bother me to find out what it is, I kinda like living and being around. I like good food, I like getting a little tanked, and I like hanging around good company. But I KNOW, and that separates me. When my drinking buddy starts eyeballing girls too young for him, I know it. I know all your dirty little laundry. I can't help knowing. It's Truth, capital-T. I wish to heaven I didn't, and I would dearly enjoy having an ignorant little life. But once you know these things, there's no going back. I don't really want to undo my life, like THAT particular Servant did, nor do I want anyone to take my knowledge of the Truth. It's my burden, and while I hate it, I accept it. Truth keeps me transfixed, like a moth to the flame.
LIKES: //[/color]
Good food
Fine drink
Respectful people that don't ask any gods-damned questions
DISLIKES: //[/color]
Anyone seeking an oracle
Anyone that sought an oracle and got pissed because they didn't like the answers
STRENGTHS: //[/color]
I know. I know your history. I can guess at the future, not because I see it clear, but just because I know the present so perfectly. I guess I'm the perfect servant for intelligence gathering; the Blind Prophet, a being without equal. I'll fucking hate you for using me, but hey, Masters and Servants.
WEAKNESSES: //[/color]
I'm a completely terrible combat servant. My abilities are mostly geared to planning and support. I can enhance a Magus's physical talents to almost make up for it if they're not fighting a Servant in a straight match, but my own offensive power is lousy. Blindness is not an asset when you want to bombard an area with spellcraft, and my staff is about as dangerous as a cardboard tube.[/ul][/size][/blockquote]
MY LEGEND: //[/color] Tiresias, Greatest of Greek Prophets.
MY HISTORY: //[/color]
You really want to know my history? Horsecrap, you want to know if I'll make a good servant for your little game. Yeah, I see you up there, don't think I don't know what's going on. The only reason you're reading this is to make sure someone didn't cheat, or to see what mangled mishmash they've turned my legend into for your little game. Too bad for you, this version is mostly straight.
I was a priest of Zeus. The end, leave me alone. ... oh fine, fuck you too. I found some snakes fornicating, and stepped on them because who gives a flying damn, they're snakes. They weren't even poisonous. Anyhow, our lady Hera supposedly struck my ass female for defiling nature. By stepping on snakes. Yes, the gods are crazy, what of it? Anyhow, being a woman makes it very hard to be part of a men's order of priests, so I joined the priestesses of Hera to keep my career moving. And after a few years of that, I became a holy prostitute. Don't look at me that way. We had our own culture, and it turns out Hera's into whores. As long as Zeus isn't involved with them, at least.
Anyway, after seven long years of having titties, I found another pair of snakes doing their thing. Instead just marching over them, I contemplated the way of nature, and my sins in having so mindlessly interrupted them last time. And I thought of Hera, who I served so readily for seven years in an attempt at repentance. And then I remembered I still had tits, so apparently the gods were just assholes, and I stomped on those gods-damned snakes until their brains came out of their eyes. Because fuck Hera.
Well, she decided I was unfit for the fairer sex, and "punished" me by transforming me back into a man. Mostly. She didn't make the entire switch. I don't want to talk about it, and I'm not showing you what it looks like, but just be assured I haven't bothered with sex since then. Speaking of sex, THAT got me into major trouble too.
It turned out, the gods were arguing over who enjoyed it more. Zeus claimed women have better orgasms, and Hera claimed men did. They decided to find an expert to make the final decision, and it turns out I have "experience", so off I was whisked to tell the gods about the birds and the bees. I didn't really want to answer, and tried to evade the question, because I knew how this sort of story ends. It ends with you pissing off a goddess and getting your fiddly-bits turned inside out. But then the King and Queen of the Gods made an open and direct command at my mere-mortal self to give them the straightest answer, the unvarnished Truth, capital-T. I was not yet a prophet, but I knew sex from both ends, so I told them.
"The pleasure a man gets is not one part in ten of what a woman enjoys. I was a happy whore for a reason!" I said. And Hera, that terrible bitch, accused me of revealing womankind's greatest secret and slapped me so goddamn hard my eyeballs stopped working.
Zeus couldn't undo the effect, but since I was a good sport and revealed the truth at my own heavy expense, he offered to give me the ability to see the Truth of the world even through blindness, and increase my lifespan by sevenfold. I should have told him to go fuck a goat, but I accepted it and skittered on home.
Here's a trick: men and women have different kinds of prophetic powers, at least in the time I was from. I, having experience with both sexes and the most peculiar genitals a man could be cursed with, had both sorts. The Delphic Oracles were all women, their gods-gifted prophesy only went halfway; they could see things beyond mortal ken, but not the unveiled Truth. Men-prophets couldn't see the Truth either, their methods only got halfway there. Me? All of it. It kinda sucks.
So suddenly I was a prophet. I don't see the future, not really. I see the NOW. I see it in deep clarity, through all the illusions and ignorance. I see the Truth, capital-T, a perfect reflection of the World. And because I'm not an idiot, I can make exceedingly good guesses at what the NOW is going to lead to. I was struck blind, but I see farther and better than any mortal human ever has.
And everyone wanted a piece of me for it.
I spent centuries guiding the Thebean monarchy, for example. A fine bunch of assholes. One of them fucked their mother, yannow. He had the gall to demand I tell him why the city was cursed and call me a vile, disloyal man when I told him he was the cause. He was convinced I was insulting him. It's not my fault you killed your dad and fucked your mom, Oedipus! Sometimes the Gods just set terrible things up to laugh at you! Get over it already. Apparently he went insane and put his eyes out, I stopped caring about that point. His uncle/brother-in-law Creon wasn't much better, but at least he knew the sort of shit he was trapped in and didn't take it out on me. Stuck between obedience to law and his family, he chose to uphold the law as a king rightly should and his family all killed themselves. Poor bastard.
Anyway, I spent years and years and years advising kings and any other asshole who wanted help. I hated most of them, but knowing Truth means you have responsibilities, and you can't just shirk them and go live in a cave. I had seven lifetimes of advising, and finally laid to rest. Then that prick Odysseus used some power to summon my shade and demand oracular assistance in getting home. Can you fucking believe that? He brought me back from THE DEAD to ask for directions.
Fucking jackass.
MY GOALS: //[/color] What does it matter, I'm not going to win. I'm probably going to get stabbed to death by some asshole dragon.
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I wield my Noble Phantasm Caduceus, a staff who's offensive abilities in melee are roughly equal to attacking someone with a wet napkin.
NOBLE PHANTASM: //[/color]
Caduceus - Rod of Hermes
Owner: Tiresias, later Hermes
Type: Support
Rank: C
Range: --
Maximum Target: Self
Story: "From the snakes that transformed Tiresias, he created a staff as a symbol of his Truth. This staff passed to Hermes, and became a symbol for heralds of all sorts." I guess that's the story. I didn't really intend to make a symbol for heralds, you know. I just wanted a reminder for myself, a reminder that said "yannow what, fuck those snakes". Somehow it became a symbol in it's own right.
Effect: Caduceus is my source of casting. It contains all my spells, and acts as an independent source of prana for casting those spells. It's no crazy Lovecraft-tome like that one psycho, but it provides me a good span of spells and the means to cast them without killing my Master. Most of them are support, to buff my master up. I can do that pretty well, to the point where they can actually stand up in combat as long as it's not against a Servant; my spells can functionally Reinforce the hell out of their limbs for improved physical performance. Not the sort of result that would let them take blows from Noble Phantasm weapons, but they will certainly move fast and hit hard. I can also do some attacks and bombardment, but I'm pretty terrible at it. Blindness does not help my aim.
CLASS ABILITIES: //[/color]
Territory Creation
Skill Description: I can create a workshop from which assholes can attack me at their disadvantage.
Rank: B
Effect: I can create a workshop, but unlike SOME casters, I can't make an underground cavern the size of a small city. I'd weep tears of envy, except I think temples are stupid and it's not like it saved her from the Grail in the end.
Item Construction
Skill Description: I can make things. Huzzah.
Rank: B+
Effect: I can't make immortality potions, but what do I care? I'm dead, and I was enjoying it before this mess started. Instead I can build charms that enhance abilities, and one nifty little item that protects against fatal wounds. Sometimes people were... upset... at what I told them, so an amulet that lets you survive one fatal blow is pretty useful; the amulet shatters in the process, though, so it only works once before I have to make a new one.
SKILLS: //[/color]
Mystic Eyes of Truth
Skill Description: I was gifted to know the world as it is, not as it appeared, despite the loss of my normal sight. My oracular vision is a perfect reflection of the World as it exists, and it reveals all.
Rank: A+++
Effect: I don't visually see with my eyes; I'm technically blind. My eyes take in all within their sight and instantly know the past, and the NOW, of the things I see. I see Truth. Basically, I know everything about you, your history, your feelings, and whatnot. The curses on your head? I know them, I know why they're there, and I know how to break them. Your dirty little secrets? I know those too. I know you better than YOU know you. I see pure Truth, unclouded by anything; no illusion can stop me. No mental clouding effects my sight. I see the links between all things, and know what's going on. And yannow what? I don't like what I see.
Too bad this skill is completely useless for anything but getting perfectly accurate information. Some people get to turn things to rocks by looking at them, or to give hypnotic commands, but nooooo, I just get to know you're an otaku. Like I needed sight beyond sight to know that, pah.
This is what gave me my reputation as an oracle. I didn't really see the future. I saw what had already happened, what was happening right NOW, and was smart enough to puzzle out the end result of things heading in their course. So goes my reputation.
High Speed Divine Words
Skill Description: I spoke to Gods, children. I know their language, the language of the past, and it was deeply entwined with ancient spellcasting. Your modern magi know nothing of it.
Rank: A
Effect: In the time it takes you to blink out a your little spell-farts, I can cast things that that look like high-level thaumaturgy. Stupid modern magi, pretenders to the crown of Gods.
STRENGTH: //[/color] E
ENDURANCE: //[/color] E
AGILITY: //[/color] E
MANA: //[/color] A
LUCK: //[/color] D
NOBLE PHANTASM: //[/color] C
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FACE CLAIM: //[/color] Some cloud named Unzan, from Touhou. I'd ask why my face has to be some cloud freak, but I already know the answer.
OTHER CHARACTERS: //[/color] Heh, Miliardo Red. What a royal fuckup.
MISC. INFORMATION: //[/color] I'm a tired old man, leave me alone.
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