Davy Crockett (Servant Archer)

I really like the work you did on your portrait. Hopefully, it can be coloured soon. Now, we let go of the compliments, and get to the hard meat of the matter.

First of all, your stats. They're too high. Please note that even something Ranked E is already beyond human capability.

As a few good examples: Cu Culhain, or however you spell his name, is a demigod from the ancient age of magic with the ability to use magic, and yet his Mana is only C, and his Strength is B. Arturia Pendragon can run up the side of a building with Agility C. Additionally, she also has a Mana rating of B, because she has the blessing of the Dragons, which are the most powerful of magical creatures. While Hassan i Sabbah is "merely" human, he has a lifetime of highly intensive training from THE Assassins.

I must say, that you would have stats closer to Archer, excepting the Mana stat, because he was a mage, AND had the power of the Counter Force backing him up when he was alive. Granted, it wouldn't be an exact match, since you two lived very different lives, but you definitely won't be having B's, A's, and a C.

Your Comet is not acceptable. While some heroic tall tales are fine, due to their plausibility, grabbing a comet by the tail and slamming it into somebody has several prerequisites:

1) There has to be a passing comet. While the earth is constantly bombarded by little meteors, they burn up quickly in the atmosphere. Anything big enough to survive would not necessarily be close enough to grab, either, and comets themselves just pass by. You can't just call a comet out of nowhere.

2) You can't jump into space to grab the comet. That requires either magic, or a miracle. You don't have either.

The Nasuverse operates by a set of rules, and even great heroes abide by them. While Excalibur can fire a deathray that overshadows any of its legends, that is because it has been reworked into a sword powered by the light of the planet itself, and was created by smithing fairies. In the case of Davy, he only has his own wits and abilities about him, and some tall tales are just tall tales.

Speaking of rules, your rifle phantasm, unfortunately, won't work with that mechanic. It has been established that Servants are in fact, weaker copies, shadows of their original selves. As such, despite performing superhuman feats as seen in the game and anime, the real deals were actually more powerful. This isn't as bad as the Comet, however, and some intensive tweaking can make it workable.

Your Magic Resistance is way too high. Magic Resistance is something that you get from fighting against magic in your lifetime. By the 18th and 19th Centuries, magical decline has come close to its apex, and thus, you won't be getting anything close to the higher rungs. At the very most, I'm letting you have a D.

Unfortunately, since there aren't any fairies in America, last I checked, you'll have to ditch the Fairy protection. Davy Crockett might have learned to live in harmony with nature, but that does not mean there are any specific nature spirits out to keep watch over him. You might want to create an original skill instead to represent his nature-harmonic survivalist expertise.

While I understand that the idea is to push in Crockett as a memetic badass, the more outrageous claims are about as plausible in the Nasuverse as the Chuck Norris Fact that "Cthulhu isn't sleeping in R'lyeh, waiting for the stars to be right. He's hiding from Chuck Norris". Long story short, you'll have to edit this profile to conform with the Verse's rules.

The Alamo has not been forgotten. But if we are to remember it, it has to be under a different lens than usual.

Okay, round two.

1) Your new Noble Phantasms is somewhat redundant with regards to Battle Continuation. Either you think of something else, or you ditch Battle Continuation. Also, note that Ranks exist for a reason. I don't mind its present state, so long as you become well aware, and write down, the fact that it can, and will be trumped by a higher-ranked Noble Phantasm, like say, Excalibur.

2) Your Noble Phantasm stat should match the rank of your most powerful Noble Phantasm. You're on a limited magazine of special ammunition. How many shots do you have right now? Please indicate.

3) Call of nature... this one's pretty tricky. Nature isn't exactly a very nice thing with regards to humans. In fact, she made a deal with the Moon to create a species of nature spirits to keep human population in check, resulting in Vampires, but that's opening up a completely new can of worms. I suppose, that as King of the Wild Frontier, you shouldn't have any problems with gaining its support, but you have to understand that Protection of Fairies, which what you originally based this on, grants a luck boost, rather than any particular fairy attack.

What I can suggest, is that this skill boosts your luck whenever you're in a nice, nature-friendly kind of place, like the wilderness that Davy is so used to. Also, indicate how big the luck boost is.

Alright, Davy. You're halfway there.



Things might get tougher from here, but I prepared you as much as I could. So even if they do, always remember the Alamo!

First of all, not really a approval point but is the caps on almost everything intended? As in some dramatic effect or so? I'm curious.

Second, although not really preventing you from being approved, it would be nicer to others, specially to your future master if at least your personality had more information about Crockett, the same goes for history even though there is your legend just above it, both are not a must but would be nice to see it added.

Lastly, it's about Last Stand, you need to add two bits of info to it, one being of a average time that Crockett can keep Last Stand active since otherwise you will kill your master with it, also must be added what happens to the injured Crockett after this NP is turned off, does Crockett revert back to his former stand and nearly die from the injuries sustained while it was active?

1) Good thing that caps just mimic the attention effect of shouting as otherwise I would be having a headache from all this shouting.

2) Will be eagerly awaiting for it.

3) I'm fine with it Last Stand keeping Crockett from dying for two minutes, keeping him at 1HP no matter how many more attacks he receive, albeit limbs chopping and beheading still working as usual, but healing wounds not only take much time as it also a action that require activation from a magus or from a NP just for the act of healing, and Crockett is not a magus nor does he have something like Avalon to heal him.

So my question on the first post was more to see what would happen to Crockett in case he had earned to himself a hole on his stomach, big enough for you to see through him, after Last Stand is deactivated. Servants aren't exactly like humans so they wouldn't really die from a wound like that but one would have problems to fight, or do anything else in those conditions, don't you agree?

Now that is more like it.

[2/2 Approval]

[Locked]

Done. Made the change I pmed you about, and upped the range of Shot of Lightning.

Aside from the fact that I think it is more than just a bit vexing that an approved profile is already unlocked and modified at this early part in the game......

Just as mentioned above. Unstoppable would mean, unkillable (if that is not just an ambitious way of commenting on the stat increase). Raising 2 full stats in 3 Stats is also not nearly close to a sufficient NP Rank and furthermore does it seem too much. The grass ..is also totally impossible. A servant dies, a servant vanishes. He is not a spirit of nature, allowed to modify the area with means like a Marble Phantasm, less have them remain. (Although it would look nice, just technically impossible.)